Bienvenue Théo

Why was I appearing in an episode of M.A.S.H? Why was I lying on a hospital trolley in a medical supplies room? What was going on?

Just then a doctor swept in and apparently there was a 4.7kg bundle of joy awaiting me, carefully cradled in my husbands arms up on the main ward. After 14hours of labour I had undergone an emergency caesarian and the result was a lovely bouncing baby boy called Théo.

The next 48 hours passed in a blur, I was getting used to being a Mum and my poor husband spent much of his time on the road between the clinic at Ganges and our house.

Pretty soon I raised the question about when I would be allowed to discharge myself. Mais non, as I was a 39yr old that had never changed a nappy it was baby school for me. I could not but help wonder if our local NHS hospital in North London would have provided this excellent and much needed service. Each morning, under a nurses supervision, I had to “top and tail” Théo and never was I more grateful for tuition. I did wince for the poor little boy when it was made clear that the start of his morning routine would begin with a thermometer up his petit derriere! What a way to start the day. (When my mother-in-law watched me put this into practice she remarked that if he should turn out to be gay I had only myself to blame!).

I looked forward to going home and showing Théo his nursery, but for a novice it was comforting to be in a safe haven. I longed for a family visit with Oliver so I decided to be brave and broach the subject with my consultant in my best Franglais. “Ah yes she said, you talked a lot about Oliver whilst going under sedation and coming round”. “Well I don’t see why a family visit would be out of the question, now you have been detached from your drip etc”. I could hardly believe my luck and I asked my husband to come en-famille the following day, après-midi of course

I was so thrilled and so sure that Oliver would take one look at Théo and fall in love with our gorgeous baby, as much as we had.

That morning baby and I were up and dressed, both having lunched nicely and awaiting the nurse to come by to let us know that our visitors had arrived. I suddenly heard a loud shout, “C’est un chien, c’est pas possible”. Suddenly my room was full of people speaking French very quickly and I could just not keep up.

Of course Ollie was a dog, my much beloved Weimaraner, yes he has had all his injections. What had they been expecting? Apparently, it turned out, an older brother for Théo – the none hairy kind!

Eventually a compromise was reached and I was allowed to walk by the beautiful river, that flows by the Polyclinic in Ganges, for half an hour with a much wrapped up Théo, my husband and Ollie. Tout la Famille - i was trés content.